No mess Cauli-rice!

If you hang out in the foodie blogosphere much, you'll come across many many recipes for cauliflower rice. Most of them involve either grating the cauliflower, or running it through a processor. I've done both plenty of times. And I perfected the cauli-rice flavor with the addition of eggs and select spices. Yum!

So now I give you the further improvement of skipping all the mess involved with making it!

Ingredients:
one head of cauliflower (around 3lbs)
1 onion
2-3 cloves garlic (opt.)
2 cups broth
2-3 eggs
3-4 T lard or other fat
1 tsp salt (to taste)
1/4 tsp each of ginger, coriander, majoram

Trim and wash cauliflower, and place stem down in large pot. If you cut off most of the stem, it will be resting on the bottom most florets, but don’t worry about that. Pour broth into pot; it will not cover the cauliflower. Cook on high heat with the lid on until the whole head is very soft. This will take about 15-20 minutes or so. Check periodically for softness with a knife.

Mmm... the white vegetable.

When ready, use a knife to cut up some, right in the pot. Ultimately, you want to cut out the hard center of the cauliflower. Once the hard center of the head is out, use a potato masher (or if you’re not too picky, just the wooden spoon) to crush everything further. You’ll eventually have nice crumbles. If there is any liquid, then turn the heat back on and continue to cook, stirring often. Add a minced onion and garlic at this time too. If there isn’t much liquid, then add a couple tablespoons of lard.

See the florets being cut away from the center?

And look, here is the center, ready for the compost.

When everything is sufficiently soft, make a bowl in the middle, pushing all the cauli-rice to the sides. Add more lard and pour beaten eggs into the space. then slowly fold the eggs into the cauliflower as they cook.

Cauliflower bowl, ready for eggs.

When finished, season with spices and salt to taste. I usually stir-fry or boil a few other veggies and toss those in, then add in some fish or chicken or pork and a little fish sauce to taste!

This tastes closest to fried rice, though if you season right I bet it could go with sloppy joes too.